Religion Porn

I suppose when I was young I thought pornography was pictures of naked people, plain and simple. Then when I got older I realized that it was a bit more involved than that. I came to know that people disagreed about what porn is. Most said that nudity in paintings wasn’t porn. Many claimed that incidental nudity in feature films wasn’t porn. And some even said that magazines such as Playboy weren’t porn. Those pictures supposedly weren’t simply about sex but also the beauty of the female body.

Porn can be a little hard to figure out sometimes. But I think that even though we often disagree as to what should be considered porn, many of us have a basic understanding of the word. Porn has to be something made by human beings. For example, a tree, no matter how provocatively it grows, no matter how suggestive the limbs are intertwined, can’t be porn. Porn has to be a book, or a film, a poem…something that wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for a human maker. And I think most would agree that porn has to be something specifically designed to excite the passions of those who look at it. That isn’t to say everything made by humans that happens to turn us on is porn. A lot of things may turn us on--the lyrics of a song, the way an actress glances back over her shoulder in a scene in a movie--but if something is there for a reason other than to sexually excite us then it’s not porn.

Porn is meant to tap into our basic instincts, bypass rational thought, grab some primitive part of our being and remind us that deep down we have our desires, and we want those desires fulfilled, and it doesn’t matter what the neighbors think, or our families, or our friends. We want what we want, and we want it now. Porn holds a mirror up to the beast within.

For the longest time I thought the only kind of porn was sex porn. As I said, at first I thought it was about nudity. Then I thought it was all about pure lust and animal passions. Then I heard a comedian refer to those clips on the news that show reporters standing out in hurricanes as “weather porn.” Suddenly my understanding of porn grew exponentially. The reporters who stand outside on dark and stormy nights aren’t really relaying any useful information to us…at least not any information that we couldn’t get from the same reporters speaking to us from behind a desk inside a television studio. We don’t need to see someone’s hairpiece blown away as they scream into a microphone to know the storm is bad. But the visual is exciting. There’s something horrifyingly entertaining about it. Those images remind us that we’re animals living in a real world and that we face real dangers every day. At any moment something could fall on our heads and kill us. Remembering that now and then gets our blood up.

I’m sure I’m not the first to notice this, but I think much of what passes for religion could also be called porn. Participants are asked to click off their normal thought processes and go with the flow of their emotions. Some people sway back and forth while in church, cry uncontrollably, speak in tongues, scream out the name of Jesus as they thrash about in fits of religious ecstasy.

If it stopped there, many might say it’s just good, harmless fun. If it was all about being alive in the moment and not trying to understand with our brains, turning away from that urge to conceptualize everything for a few minutes and just live… But sometimes ministers whip their followers up and then lead them toward dark impulses. Human beings tend to be fearful of those who are different. They’re suspicious of the tribe that lives on the other side of the mountain. Outsiders are potential enemies until they have proven themselves to be friends. And many shamelessly tap into that fear in the name of their god.

I have always thought of The Salvation Army as a very sober organization. I’ve known for a long time that it was a Christian organization, but I never pictured their members dancing insanely as they were filled with the Holy Spirit. I thought they went about collecting alms for the poor in a very serious and down to earth way. Even when I learned they threw out toys that were related to the Harry Potter and Twilight books, I still imagined that they went about their business in a very stoic, humorless fashion. I pictured a fleshy, matronly woman dressed in an ample dark skirt, a big lumpy sweater and sensible shoes sorting through the donations and throwing out anything she thought may be too pagan. It would have been my guess that this woman hadn’t shown much enthusiasm for anything since voting for Nixon in 1972. So it came as quite a shock when I learned that a Salvation Army representative from Australia said that LGBT people should die. Even when he was repeatedly given the opportunity to clarify or mollify his position, he refused. LGBT people are other. They are not like the rest of us. They should die. Period. When those who were interviewing him tried to appeal to his humanity, he dug in his heels and said that was his belief and he was sticking to it. Now there is some really nasty, hardcore religion porn.

A lot of people are disturbed by sex porn, and some of it is more than a little scary. Most sex porn is about flashing body parts that are usually covered up and everyday sex acts, but some of it is about force and pain and the degradation of others. But it seems that most of the people who like watching the scary stuff now and then know it’s all pretend. They know it would be horrific to act out the scenarios you see in violent porn, and they know that even the vanilla porn is generally wildly unrealistic fantasy. And most of those who are glued to their TV sets when a big storm comes ashore would never think about deliberately driving into a storm. Most know that it’s foolish of reporters to risk life and limb by standing out in those storms. They get it, even as they indulge themselves.

But do religious fanatics get it? The mythology of the Christian religion contains many fantastic elements--a virgin birth, resurrections, the great flood--but some view it all as absolute fact, and on top of that some have this extreme hostility toward certain groups. A lot of ordinary people indulge their most primitive fears and wrap it up in their religion, people who think of themselves as good people. Some actually consider themselves morally superior because they indulge their fear and hate in the name of their god.

Imagine if sex porn worked that way. Imagine if you weren’t simply allowing yourself to fantasize about having that forbidden or unlikely sexual experience but that you were told to go out and make it happen because your god commands it, and your god will punish you if you don’t make it happen. Imagine if you thought it was your sacred duty to have the babysitter no matter if the babysitter was willing or not. The world would not be a safe place for any of us if it was common for people to think like that. And yet it is common for people to think that it’s okay to hate certain minority groups such as LGBT people so long as they claim it’s part of their religion. And it is common for others who don’t indulge their hate in that way to give a pass to others if they claim their hate is part of their religion.

Hey, those people who give turkeys and hams to poor families on Christmas can’t be all bad, right? Even if they have a few quirky beliefs, they’re doing some good in the world, right? Well, if you’re an LGBT person and they tell you they think you should die, it’s kind of hard to go on seeing them as warm and fuzzy. If you’re being told that you should die by people who call themselves Christian, and it's not a fantasy to them, not a game of make believe, it might be hard to understand why others don’t take that more seriously. 

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By the way, there's even religion porn specifically designed for children.

             



Ryan and Andrew had worked together at the vineyard for several months. They often engaged in small talk during breaks, and they planned to hang out together and have a few beers at some point in the future, but they never seemed to get around to it. Ryan enjoyed Andrew’s company, and Andrew enjoyed Ryan’s, but both men were inextricably shy around each other. Conversations turned awkward at odd moments, and they often ended abruptly with both men smiling nervously.

Finally one October afternoon Andrew took the bull by the horns. He asked Ryan if he knew about the gazebo at the edge of the woods on the other side of the vineyard. Ryan looked at him questioningly but admitted he did.

“Go there with me…right now,” Andrew said.

Ryan hesitated for a seconds, but then said in a hushed, shaky voice, “Okay.”

They then went off together in silence toward their destination.

 

Photographer unknown

Subjects unknown

Little fictional story by Gary Cottle

Rob's Terrific Boner



This was an important day for Rob. He had been enjoying horseplay with his buddies since they were little boys, but on this day Rob noticed his body, or a certain part of his body at least, responded in an unexpected way. He hoped that Jimmy didn’t feel his thing pressing into his back, and he was thankful that Jimmy never said anything, but on the other hand, Rob was grateful that the incident, his response, the immense pleasure he felt in being so physically close to his friends, his terrific boner helped clear away all the confusion and guilt. This was the day Rob understood why the Playboy magazines Dave stole from his father bored him, and why he felt agitated by his friends’ excitement when they looked at the magazines. He wasn’t like them. He would never want to be with a woman because that weird, bug-eyed thrill his friends got out of seeing nudie pictures of pretty women he got from being near his friends. Rob finally understood this part of himself. This frightened him. He was terrified of what his friends would think of him if they found out, but it was good to know the truth. It was good to experience the attraction and to appreciate it, take delight in it for what it was. Rob had a big queer hardon for his friends, and he loved it, and he loved them.

Photographer unknown
Subjects unknown
Little fictional story by Gary Cottle

My Response To Matt Barber’s An Open Letter To Homosexuals

Read Matt Barber's An Open Letter To Homosexuals here.

My Response To Matt Barber’s An Open Letter To Homosexuals

Mr. Barber,

The question as to whether or not there is a god has not been proven either way. Some people believe there is a god, while others do not. Some may point to various reasons as to why they believe what they do, but no one has presented the world with a conclusive argument that settles the issue. So it is ridiculous for you to claim that the theology on which you base your condemnation of homosexuality is objective when the very premise of your theology--there is a god--rests on tenuous ground. But even if it was proven there is a god, that would not necessarily validate your theology. You used the Christian Bible to back up your claim that your condemnation of homosexuality is objective and irrefutable, but whether or not the Christian Bible is the “Word of God” is actually a separate question, and like the god question itself, it is not a settled matter…even among those who identify as Christian. But, for the sake of argument, let’s say there is a god, and let’s say the Christian Bible is “the Word” of that god, there is still the matter of interpretation, and many people who identify as Christian would object to the way you interpret the Bible.  Some would even find it abhorrent.

Of course you are entitled to your opinion, but let’s keep in mind that your opinion is merely your opinion. It is a bit much for you to present yourself as a spokesperson for all of Christendom when the objective fact is you are not. And it is a bit much for you to claim you have perfect and irrefutable understanding of the god you worship--which may or may not be real.

You say you want my tribe to know that Christians do not hate us. Since I would never be so foolish as to lump all Christians in with you, I would never assume that they all hate us. But I am pretty sure that you, and extremists like you, do hate us, despite your protestations of love, for I have listened closely to what you have to say about me and people like me. Even in this letter in which you profess your love, you present a grotesque and distorted picture of my tribe.

It may be true that one in five men in America who identify as gay are HIV positive, but one can be gay, and one can even have gay sex, and never contract HIV. (After all, if 20% of us are HIV positive, that would mean 80% of us--an overwhelming majority--do not.) I grew up among “Bible believing Christians” such as yourself, and I know that a large percentage of them are pretty hefty, much in the same way you yourself are pretty hefty, and we know medical science tells us that being overweight puts a person at greater risk for all sorts of medical conditions such as heart disease, cancer and diabetes, but it would be absurd to suggest that being Christian cases obesity and illness. Correlation is not causation. One can be Christian and eat a healthy diet and get plenty of exercise. It’s just that some Christians, like you, do not. And by the same token, you can be gay and refrain from engaging in high risk behaviors that often lead to contracting HIV. Being gay doesn’t cause HIV, and, I believe, the fact that too many gay men are HIV positive suggests that LGBT youth are not given adequate instruction in regards to how to avoid HIV, and that young gay men often act recklessly because young men are generally full of hormones and gay young men have generally not received enough support from family, friends and society at large to instill in them a desire to take care of themselves.

You mentioned some psychological problems like depression and suicide, but just as in regard to HIV, being gay in and of itself doesn’t cause these things. LGBT people may very well be at greater risk of depression and suicide and the like, but I think that comes from the stigma associated with being LGBT, a stigma that people like you encourage and foster with abandon. And even though a number of LGBT people have or have had problems, the fact remains that many of us lead happy and productive lives. And I would point out that having grown up around so-called “Bible believing Christians” such as yourself, I know the smiling, Sunday morning church face doesn’t always accurately reflect the emotional health of conservative Christians. I know many of them are deeply troubled. But I would never be so silly as to claim being a Christian leads to depression and suicide.

Judging by your disclosures, it seems you were quite the hopped up whore in your youth. I’m sorry if your behavior and attitude led to feelings of despair, but it would be a mistake for you to assume that your vapid and misspent youth is comparable to being LGBT. I’m sure many LGBT people, just as many straight people, have made the mistake of dehumanizing their partners and turning an act that can create feelings of intimacy and comfort into something hollow and meaningless, just as I’m sure many LGBT people, along with their straight counterparts, abuse drugs and alcohol. But being LGBT doesn’t in an of itself cause one to use others as you admittedly used women in your youth, and being LGBT doesn’t mean you will necessarily become a lush. The fact that you believe being LGBT necessarily entails becoming the debauched slut that you were in your youth only indicates what a biased fool you’ve become. Rather than loving LGBT people, you can only see them through the eyes of your rigid dogma and your hate.

You insinuated that people of my tribe know deep down that we are unhappy, and you want us to conclude that being LGBT is the cause. Well, many people are unhappy at any given movement for a variety of reasons. That is the human condition. So it is rather slimy of you to use another human being’s vulnerability to try to convince them that your prejudices against them are correct. In my mind that’s an indication of just how vicious your bigotry really is.

As for your claim that homosexuality is unnatural, I beg to differ. Given that homosexuality is common among many other species and that our medical establishment has examined the issue over a period of many decades and concluded that homosexuality in human beings is a normal and expected variant in the spectrum of human sexuality and that it is not a disease or a disorder, I believe that it is quite natural. Just because your understanding of nature is limited, and this limitation confirms your prejudice in your mind, doesn’t mean that you actually understand nature in general or my nature or the nature of those like me. In any event, since when has human beings restricted themselves to what is natural? It could very well be argued that driving in cars, taking antibiotics, and using the computer are all unnatural acts, but not many would take the claim that these things are sinful very seriously.

You said that the Southern Poverty Law Center has labeled many of the organizations run by your friends as hate groups, and you suggested that this is because the SPLC has determined that mere religious condemnation of homosexuality is hateful. But the real reason SPLC classifies specific organizations as hate groups is because they lie, mislead and attempt to create an unfair negative perception of certain groups--such as LGBT people--in the minds of the public. The impression you give of homosexuals in your open letter to homosexuals and your comments about the Southern Poverty Law Center’s aims only strengthens SPLC’s case against you.

I don’t know if there’s a god or not, and I don’t claim to speak for any god. All I have to go on is my experience, reason and gut instincts, and they all lead me to believe, Mr. Barber, that you are not at all the sort of person I should look to for advice when it comes to ethical, philosophical or spiritual concerns. I find your utter lack of humility in regards to your claims that you know what your god wants and expects of me and people like me to be shameful, arrogant and prideful. And the lies you tell about us… And the way you have devoted so much of your life to denying us basic human rights and respect… It may surprise you to learn that I actually think Charles Manson is a more trustworthy person than you.

If I believed in hell, which I don’t, I might be tempted to conclude that you are really an apostle of hell. If I believed in the devil, which I do not, I might be tempted to conclude that you are really in league with the devil. If I believed in the Antichrist, which I do not, I might be tempted to conclude you were this entity or at least a devotee. If there is a god, I believe you actual do this god a disserve. And even though I’m not sure if Jesus was actually the son of a god, I believe--given that by all accounts he was a man of peace who wanted human beings to live in harmony--that you brutalize his memory on a daily basis.

Since I believe that you have acted out with great hostility and cruelty toward LGBT people, you might think that I want you to be punished or eliminated. Well, I won’t deny that I’m human and that you inspire negative feelings in me, but I suspect that you are not nearly as fulfilled and content as you let on, and I suspect that if you really were a happy person you wouldn’t devote so much of your life to causing trouble as you attempt to garner political power for nefarious reasons, so I’m going to hope that you, Mr. Barber, find happiness and joy. I hope you find so much of it that you forget your war against my tribe. And if there is a heaven, I hope you will be there regardless of how you conduct yourself in life or what you believe or claim to believe, and that’s because if there is a god, I would like to believe that god is not a vengeful, cruel god.

　

　

Sincerely,

Gary Cottle

I like to think this man is about to marry his boyfriend. And I like to think that his cat’s affection for this man is what convinced him to consider the man’s proposal. I imagine that the cat used to belong to the boyfriend’s lover who died a couple of years ago, and that even though the boyfriend cared for the man in the suit a great deal, he couldn't imagine settling down again after his lover passed away…but the cat made him realize that he needed to move on and open himself up to the future rather than living in the past. I imagine that the boyfriend never told the man in the suit any of this, but every time he sees his cat and the man making nice with each other he is reassured he made the right decision.

Photographer and model unknown
Stroy by Gary Cottle

The idea that homosexuality is a sin is pernicious and vile and wholly without merit or excuse.

As we all know, the Christianists have been screaming that the advance of LGBT rights is a threat to their religious freedom. People like Maggie Gallagher claim that to call them bigots is to attack their religion. Well, I respect religious liberty, and I respect the right of individuals to live as they so choose. But the rights of others to live as they see fit and believe what they want doesn’t negate my right to speak my mind. And I make a distinction between someone who chooses for themselves to marry someone of the opposite sex when they’re primarily attracted to people of the same sex and those who promote the idea that homosexuality is a sin. Those who believe that are allowed to believe it, and they’re allowed to express their view, but I’m allowed to object, and I do. I think that is a very destructive and dangerous idea. That idea has hurt me and it’s hurt a lot of other people. And I’m not prepared to give the "gay is a sin" crowd a pat on the head and let it go even if some seem to be nice people. I don’t buy the idea that they’re just living their truth and following their path. They might be good people in many respects, but they’re out there selling the idea that loving someone of the same sex is wrong and that it can never be as good as loving someone of the opposite sex, and I believe that idea is pernicious and vile and wholly without merit or excuse. That’s my path, and that’s my truth. I don’t claim to know everything, and I certainly don’t claim to know what any god wants, but that’s the way I see it.

Newsflash from the 30th century: There is life and sex after death, scientists say

Thanks to a number of breakthroughs in the last ten centuries, scientists are now sure that our consciousness survives death and that we live on in a kind of perpetual lucid dream state. They say that since all conflict has been resolved, the dead create for themselves an ever changing world that they find blissful and exhilarating. They claim the dead visit one another in their dreams and that death is not lonely. They also claim that the dead experience vivid wet dreams that reflect their wildest fantasies.

After death, you might hike in the Alps in the morning, spend your afternoon sunbathing on a Caribbean beach with your best friend from grade school, dine with your favorite aunt in a Parisian restaurant, and share your evening with an adoring and attentive young man who looks remarkably like Taylor Lautner in a remote cabin in the Berkshires.