The Piano Movers...and my thoughts.

This is basically one long fag joke. I can remember seeing this back in the ‘70s. The flamboyant antiques collector had expensive but ostentatious taste, and everything from the way he dressed to his mannerisms suggested he was different. This is how gay men were often depicted back then. Of course I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being flamboyant or different, and I realize that there is some truth to this stereotype--many gay men are noticeably different--but we’re not all alike, and the collector was being held up to ridicule. He wasn’t to be taken seriously, and because he was “fruity” that meant it was okay to jam a piano in his front door and leave him stranded.

I really didn’t mind the collector, but I wondered how exactly I could make my way in the world if being gay meant you had to be an antiques collector, or a hairstylist, or a nurse. The options seemed limited, and I wasn’t sure if I was cut out for any of them. And I didn’t like the idea of living my life as the butt of jokes. I didn’t like the idea of people thinking it was okay to be cruel to me.

Seeing this show when I was eleven or twelve left me with a funny feeling. On the one hand, it was one of the few times I caught a glimpse of someone who might be like me. It was always a great relief to see any character who might be gay. I felt a little less alone when I saw a character who might be gay. But even in his luxury apartment, the collector was subject to overt and hostile bigotry. It gave me the impression that the world was unforgiving and unwelcoming of people like me, and I wasn’t sure I was up to facing it.

What if it was your grandmother?

What if it was your grandmother they were talking about? What if they were saying she couldn’t be trusted around children? What if they said she was sick? What if they said she was out to destroy the family and the country? What if they said civil rights for your grandmother would cause their god to punish us? What if they supported laws that diminished your grandmother’s freedom? What if powerful politicians agreed with them? What if they smugly wrapped themselves up in the Bible and claimed they were the righteous ones as they denounced your grandmother? What if those in the media labeled them as the Christian values people and they labeled you as the one opposed to Christian values even though you just want to defend your grandmother? What if everyone in your neighborhood signed a petition to tell you that even though they may not agree with them, they have every right to hate your grandmother and to work to see to it that she is treated like a second class citizen? What if your neighbors went on to say in their petition that you are being very intolerant of those who hate your grandmother? What if you snapped one day and called one of them an ass, and you got letters in the mail from strangers from across the country telling you that you are uncivil? What if your grandmother is beaten on the way home from the grocery store by thugs who tell her that she’s a sick old grandmother who is up to no good, and you become so enraged and frustrated you punch one of those who hate your grandmother, and you’re the one who is accused of being violent and unstable?

Rorschach Fail

I took a Rorschach test once while in the hospital. I asked the tester a lot of questions about the test and how it's scored. He was very coy, and he kept trying to get me to focus on the inkblots, which I found to be rather silly. I remember this inkblot in particular, and I said that I saw two tribesmen beating on a drumb. According to what I found on the internet, the test is controversial. There isn't a standarized way of measuring the responses. But I also found out that the test is more complicated than I realized. What you identify in the inkblots is only part of what they look at. They're interested in just about everything you say and do during the process, and these days the test is often given to people who are reluctant to share their thought processes. In other words, they use it to try to get inside the heads of people who don't completely trust their doctors. And when I took the test I questioned the tester about what he was doing and what he expected to find. LOL If they had asked, I would have just told them that I don't trust very easily and I'm by nature a skeptic. :P

I didn’t see the psychiatrist and psychologist that I went to every week while in the hospital. The doctors in the hospital were strangers. And they didn’t exactly earn my trust. I was deeply depressed and had suicidal tendencies, but the underlying problem was post traumatic stress and social phobia. Those things were caused in part by the fact that my mother, my primary caregiver as a kid, suffered from schizophrenia which went untreated until after I became an adult. They knew this, and they addressed it. They were all interested in that. They put me in a special ward for adult survivors of childhood abuse. But the other thing that had caused me to mistrust people and to become socially isolated was extreme homophobia. They knew about this, too, because it was in my file, but they didn’t want to talk about that. Not that. I was a depressed, suicidal young man, and none of them asked me if I had a boyfriend, or if I wanted one, or if I had been bullied or abused because I am gay. They all carefully avoided that topic…except for one intern. One day he claimed that the reason I was gay was because I was a failed heterosexual. It was his opinion that I turned to boys because I was a flop with the girls.

Why should I have trusted these people? They were the experts, and just like most other people I had encountered in my life, they lived in their own fantasy world, and they couldn’t handle the truth. I felt like I had to treat them like I treated everyone else until they proved they were trustworthy, like they were stupid and crazy and possibly dangerous.



I Knew I Was Gay When...

 
When did I know? Well, when I was 11, it seemed like all the boys around me started talking about sex in graphic terms almost overnight. Maybe there was talk before this and I just wasn’t included in the discussions or I didn’t notice. About the same time, I started engaging in sex play with a boy who lived near me. At first it was, more or less, show and tell, but there was some touching, too. (Later it became much more involved.) We talked about sex, got naked with each other, touched each other, and he had access to his older brother’s porn stash--mostly Playboy mags, but also Hustler and Penthouse. (Later he found more graphic material.)

Puberty, the sex talk, the magazines, and the sex play got my imagination going, and I started having sexual fantasies. At first I imagined doing things with girls. But the funny thing is, I never imagined being alone with a girl. My early sexual fantasies involved one girl who was basically nameless and faceless, and a bunch of guys from school. I would do things with her as the guys watched, and then I would watch them do things with her. This went on for a while, but I soon realized that I was more interested in my male classmates than this shadowy girl figure, and I eventually started allowing myself to have sex fantasies about the guys without bothering to include a girl.

Even back in the mid ’70s at age 11, I knew what it meant to be gay, and I can remember sitting on our back porch by myself thinking things through. I put it together that day. I admitted to myself that I liked guys. Guys turned me on. Guys were hot. I wanted sex with guys. And I wasn’t interested in girls. The pictures I had seen of girls in Playboy were beautiful, but they were not sexy to me. I liked what those pictures did to my friend more than I liked the girls in the pictures. I liked it when he got randy and took out his willie. I liked it when he invited me to touch him. And that afternoon when I was alone on the back porch I accepted that this meant I was gay.

I quietly and privately adopted the gay label for myself that day. It was a little scary, but it was also thrilling. I wouldn’t tell another living soul for seven more years that I was gay. That was the hardest part, being so young, figuring out this important thing about myself, and not having anybody to talk to. And not only didn’t I have anyone to talk to, I knew I had to keep it a secret. I couldn’t trust anyone with this information.

I’m glad I had someone to fool around with in those first few years right after my sexual awakening, but it was all about sex and experimentation for my friend. We cuddled a few times, which was super nice, but never kissed or held hands. We never talked about our feelings for each other. Then before we got to high school, he turned on me, he became frightened that what we were doing was queer, and the physical intimacy ended.

So now when I think of those years, I can’t help but recall the crushing loneliness and the fear of being found out. But when I realized I was interested in boys and men, I relished it. Even though I had to keep it all to myself, I still loved it. It was who I was. It was something I was sure of. And I totally and completely embraced it right from the start.

An Aardvark Is An Aardvark, But Marriage Is What We Make Of It

There is a creature in the world known as an aardvark. I think most of us who are aware of this creature believe, or at least work on the assumption that it exists apart from our understanding of it. Whatever we say or think of an aardvark, an aardvark is what it is. In this way an aardvark is not like marriage. Marriage does not exist apart from our understanding of it. Marriage is a hypothetical construct. It does not exist outside of our minds. And we have power over how we view it and the definitions and parameters we place upon it.

Some claim that marriage predates legal definitions and human understanding because their god created it. That is, of course, questionable. But nevertheless those who are fighting for marriage equality are not trying to take anyone’s religious beliefs away from them. The debate about marriage equality is centered on civil marriage, marriage as it is defined and restricted by our government, not our various religious institutions.

I’ve noticed that many talk about the story of Adam and Eve in relation to the topic of marriage equality. Well, just like the idea that someone’s god created the institution of marriage is questionable, so to is the idea that Adam and Eve were real, historical people, much less the ideal married couple. Does their story even present them as a married couple? Was there some kind of religious ceremony where they pledged they would stick together through thick and thin? Did they ask a government to recognize their union? I always thought that Adam and Eve were shacked up, not married in our modern sense of the term.

I suspect that throughout human history, many if not most couples shacked up without the benefit of a government issued marriage license or an official blessing by a religious authority. If we’re going to include these couples as being part of the heritage of the institution of marriage, then I think we shouldn’t forget that in all likelihood there are countless numbers of same-sex couples who shacked up in the past. Maybe they told people they were “married”, or maybe they didn’t. Maybe some were “married” to opposite sex partners, too. Who knows. But I think it’s a safe bet that same-sex couples have been forming lasting bonds since the beginning.

I’m not all that familiar with marriage history, so I don’t know how often same-sex couples of the past were officially recognized by government or religion. But I don’t think it’s of any consequence in regard to the debate about marriage equality today. There’s nothing wrong with trying something new if it makes sense. And allowing same-sex couples to marry in our society in this day and age makes sense in my opinion.

Some talk about how marriage is meant to bring male and female together. I realize that for many this is what marriage does in general and for them in particular. But our understanding of sex, gender, and sexual orientation have evolved a great deal in the last 150 years. We now know that for many people this simple binary code of male and female just doesn’t work. And I don’t think that recognizing this and accommodating it jeopardizes heterosexual relationships. No matter what, most men will still be strongly attracted to women, and most women will be strongly attracted to men, and most men and women will want to bond with someone of the opposite sex. Being gay, or bi, or trans, or intersex are not acquired tastes. People are these things no matter if they like it or not. If we refuse to make room in our society and our society’s institutions for those who fall in the middle of the male-female divide, it’s not like they’re going to go away. We’ll just make life more difficult for them. And what purpose will that serve?

As for the idea that we can’t allow same-sex couples to get married because that will mean the institution will come to be regarded as something that primarily serves adults rather than children. Well, it’s already come to be regarded in that light, and marriage equality had nothing to do with it. In the past marriages were often arranged and romantic love or personal fulfillment had little to do with it, but that has all changed now. When people get married today, they generally don’t do it out of a sense of obligation, not even to their own children. Pregnancy, either planned or accidental, may be the impetus for some marriages, but, by and large, if the individuals involved aren't interested in getting married they don’t. I can’t see how marriage equality will change that one way or the other.

There are people in our society who are attracted to members of their own sex. If they get married many of them will want a partner of the same sex. Allowing them to do so will not prevent straight people from getting married. I seriously doubt allowing them to do so will cause straight people to view their relationships or their marriages or the institution of marriage differently. I don’t see how allowing same-sex couples to marry makes polygamy or bestiality any more likely or legitimate. And I’m pretty sure that most of those who still oppose marriage equality do so because on some level they just don’t like the idea of same-sex couples falling in love, having sex, living together, making a life together, and raising families. I suspect that all of this talk about protecting the institution of marriage is nothing more than a smoke screen for those who want to discriminate against same-sex couples while refusing to own their fears, discomfort and bigotry.

Austin & Jennie

Austin: Jennie, would you still love me if I had erectile dysfunction?

Jennie: Yes. But you don’t have erectile dysfunction.

Austin: What? …how do you know?

Jennie: I went looking for you in the barn that rainy Saturday afternoon we had a couple of weeks ago, and I saw you and Nick.

Austin: You saw that?!

Jennie: Yes. I didn’t hide and watch until the show was over or anything, but I saw enough to know what was happening. I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure you’re alright down there.

Austin: You saw that?

Jennie: Yes, Austin, I saw that. I saw it. There’s nothing wrong with your dick, but if you keep asking the same stupid question over and over again, I’m going to wonder if there’s something wrong with your brain.

Austin: But… I…

Jennie: It’s okay, Austin. Really it is. I’ve suspected since we were about twelve. It’s cool with me. We’ve been best friends since we were in second grade. It’s okay if our parents go on thinking we’re a couple for a little while longer. We’ll tell them the truth when we’re college. There’s no one to date around here anyway. …well, except for Nick, and you’ve already bagged him, you shit.

Austin: I love you, Jennie. I mean… You know what I mean.

Jennie: I love you, too, Austin.

Photographer and subjects unknown.
Short fictional story by Gary Cottle

Shocked and horrified…but not surprised

As the son of someone who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, I know that we shouldn’t jump to conclusions about the man who shot a security guard at the Family Research Council’s Washington headquarters. I know we shouldn’t assume we know what motivated him. It could turn out that he is psychotic and his actions were driven by fantastic beliefs that are beyond our wildest imagination. Or he could be one of us and was motivated by what we all suspect. LGBT people are just people. Some of us are mentally unstable, and some of us are more violent than others.

I don’t think that shooting the security guard was helpful or justified. But I’m also surprised that this sort of thing doesn’t happen more often. Given the amount of hate and violence directed toward us, I’d say that, on the whole, LGBT people show an amazing amount of restraint.

The FRC has been labeled a hate group, and it has earned that label. Some would have you believe that it’s just a conservative organization that doesn’t support marriage equality. But Tony Perkins has ties to the KKK. He paid thousands and thousands of dollars for Grand Wizard David Duke’s mailing list. Jerry Boykin has devoted his life to spreading the idea that Muslims are secretly trying to take over the United States. Peter Sprigg has stated publicly that he supports the criminalization of homosexuality.

The FRC, along with a number of others, work tirelessly to promote the most vicious lies about LGBT people imaginable--we choose to be gay; we seduce children into the “lifestyle; we are pedophiles; we are diseased; we lead lives of misery and depravity and die at an early age; we are sick; we are sinners rejected by their god.

Many of our youth are living in a kind of hell. They are relentlessly bullied at school and rejected at home. LGBT youth are several times more likely to commit suicide than their straight counterparts. They are several times more likely to be homeless. Many of them are on the street because their families threw them out, or they no longer felt welcome or safe at home. And when we grow up, we aren’t allowed to get married. Until recently, we weren’t allowed to serve openly in the military. Many worry about what their employers will think if they find out. Many worry they might be fired or they won’t get promoted if they act “too gay.” And even as adults, we still face bullying and rejection from family and friends. It’s a lot easier to deal with those things when you’re financially independent and you have the freedom to walk away, but it still hurts like hell.

This past spring, Anne Graham Lotz, the daughter of “America’s Pastor" Billy Graham, warned that her god would punish America if her fellow North Carolinians didn’t vote for that state’s hate on the gays constitutional amendment. Another Christian minister who worked hard to get the amendment passed made the outlandish claims that gay men had to wear diapers and that we had a tendency to stick random objects such as cell phones up our bottoms. We heard a Christian minister tell parents they should break the wrists of toddlers who act gay, and another one said we should be put in concentration camps. And let’s not forget that the hate on the gay amendment passed.

For quite a while, some have been tracking and reporting on Chick-fil-A’s support of hate groups such as FRC. And earlier this summer, Dan Cathy, president of Chick-fil-A, haughtily admitted that he and his company did support hate groups and he claimed that LGBT people were inviting his god’s judgment on this country. When LGBT people objected, the mainstream press decided that Dan Cathy should be played up as the victim of LGBT intolerance. How dare we stand up for ourselves and tell Dan Cathy we should have our civil rights. How dare we refuse to buy his chicken sandwiches. Don’t we know that billionaire Dan Cathy has freedom of religion and speech? We should keep our mouths shut because freedom of religion and speech means that if you’re gay, you don’t get to voice your opinion or have a religious belief contrary to Dan Cathy’s.

And what do millions of Americans have to say about all of this? Nothing. What did millions of Americans, millions of Christian Americans say when thousands and thousands of people lined up to give billionaire Dan Cathy their money on August 1 for the chance to flip LGBT Americans the bird in the name of their god? Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. They say nothing when fellow Americans go to the polls to vote down civil rights for LGBT people. They say nothing when they hear about LGBT kids killing themselves or living on the streets. They say nothing when they hear about evangelical Americans going around the world promoting homophobia. They say nothing while the refuse of humanity sticks its head out of the slime and claims to represent Christians and presents itself as the moral authority of our country.

But sadly a security guard took one in the arm for reprobate Tony Perkins, and I suspect that we’ll hear something about that. I doubt it’ll matter if it turns out the shooter was completely insane. I doubt it’ll matter that all the major LGBT rights organizations fell over themselves to be the first to say they don’t condone the violence. I doubt it’ll matter that most of us were shocked and horrified by this story. The narrative that many want to believe has already been offered: the shooter was a radical homosexual activist who is intolerant of Christians. And many of those indifferent Americans, many of those indifferent Christian Americans who turn their heads when monsters like Tony Perkins spread the most hateful lies about LGBT people in the name of their god, will, I suspect--suddenly and miraculously--discover their vocal cords do work, and they will use their power of speech to denounce the violence of those nasty gay people and they will claim they just don’t understand why they’re always making such a fuss.

Ryan pick is bad news for LGBT Americans

In regards to the joy some Obama supporters are expressing because Romney picked Ryan… I understand that Romney showed some amount of desperation when he picked Ryan. Ryan fires up the base, and Romney should already have his base on his side. I understand that Ryan does little to convince moderates and independents to vote for Romney. I understand that Ryan may actually repel some voters who may have otherwise considered Romney. But Romney is anti-LGBT, and now he’s going to have a running mate who is anti-LGBT. The Republicans think it’s okay to get behind extreme homophobia.

I’m a liberal, and of course I want the guy who I agree with most about political issues to win. But I’m gay, too, and that’s not just about politics. That’s who I am. I can deal with someone who disagrees with me about healthcare and the budget. But for someone to say they don’t think people like me should be able to adopt children… That’s an attack on me as a person. If one of the two major political parties happily gets behind someone who attacks people like me, then that’s really bad news for people like me, even if they lose. And they may not lose. Let’s not forget that. The homophobes may win.

The grumpy old man in the sky

The Judeo-Christian stories have many parallels in older mythologies. Creation stories, talking serpents, virgin births…you can find it all in other sources. The Epic of Gelgamesh is older than Genesis, and in it you’ll find a Garden of Eden type of place, an Adam and Eve type of relationship between a man and a woman, a man made of clay, and then there’s the story of Utnapishtim who survived a great flood by building a big boat for himself and a bunch of animals. I personally think that it’s all related--sometimes directly--and stems from a desire to make sense of the world and our experience, and perhaps our experience of things that are beyond our sensory perceptions and our intellectual capacities. I don’t know if there is more to life than meets the eye, but if there is, I don’t think any particular religion or mythology purely reflects that reality. I think if there is such a reality, then it is greater than our storytelling abilities. But our stories may help us conceptualize and talk about an experience that otherwise may be so personal as to escape most of our efforts to express it in any way. But I think if you concretize the stories, you remove the transcendent reality they may point to. The Greek gods may seem all too human if we read their stories as if they were meant to be taken as history rather than literature. And I would say the same thing of the Christian god. All these people running around saying what “he” wants, thinks and feels and what offends “his” nostrils… I wonder if they realize that they often sound like they’re describing a grumpy old man.

A Father's Love

I think the single most important thing a parent can do for their children is to let them know they are loved, accepted, adored. This seems to come so naturally to many parents. Sure they make mistakes, but you can watch their faces light up when they see their children or merely talk about their children. Their children give them joy, and their children know this. They grow up feeling that warmth. They grow up feeling wanted, lovable, worthy.

Then there are others who seem to be caught off guard by parenthood. They hold their kids out at arms’ length, and they seem befuddled by their predicament. This is understandable. Many parents don’t receive any training, and it never occurs to some to actually give much thought about what they’re doing, so if it doesn’t come naturally, then have to learn on the job. The trouble with that approach is kids need to feel like they’re wanted from the start. And there are no do overs. You either get it right the first time, or it’s up to the kid to overcome your lack of parenting skills at crucial stages of his or her development.

I’m afraid that my father fell into the second camp. He was not a natural parent. I don’t remember him being a joyful father. He seemed burdened. And he wasn’t at all ashamed to state that he felt put upon. He was concerned with providing material things for his family--food, clothing, a home--but he didn’t give much thought to our emotional needs. When I became a teenager, he became apologetic about not earning more and providing us with more stuff.

Even though I would have appreciated greater affluence--a nicer home, more vacations, more spending money, more dinners in restaurants, a car, not having to borrow money to go to college--it always annoyed me that my father only felt regret for not showering me with more goodies, and that’s because I never really held it against him for not making more money. I knew he was doing the best he could, and we always had the basics--food, clothing, shelter. There were gifts every Christmas, and a vacation every summer, even if it was just a camping trip.

What I needed from my father, and what he failed to give me was a sense that he wanted me around, that my presence in his life made him happy. Instead I generally got the impression that I was an unpleasant mystery to him. And there were times when he shamed me, and mocked me, and expressed his disappointment in me. When I was a toddler, I sometimes wanted to dress in my sister’s and mother’s clothes. I also wanted to play with “girl” toys. This embarrassed my father, and he would say with distain that I should have been born a girl. And I remember wishing I had been born a girl so that my father wouldn’t give me those looks or suggest to me that he thought I was defective.

By the time I started school, I was shy and withdrawn. My mother loved me, but she was mentally ill and unstable, my father teased and belittled me, and my sister followed my father’s example probably in an attempt to gain his approval. So on the one hand, I didn’t trust people not to lash out at me, and on the other, I was sure I didn’t have anything worthwhile to contribute.

There were some highly dramatic moments in my childhood, the kind of stuff that would make for great cinema. But I think it was the stuff that happened in between those dramatic moments, the steady drumbeat of quiet disapproval that really destroyed me--all those times I was virtually ignored, all those sighs, the eye rolls, the head shaking, the derisive giggles… I was left feeling guilty for merely being alive, and I certainly didn’t have any confidence in myself.

Obviously the way I was treated as a child has had a profound impact on my life, but it also impacted my father’s life in his declining years. After my mother died, he needed more emotional support, but he didn’t get it. I continued to do the chores around the house, but I couldn’t offer him a great deal of kindness or warmth. It just wasn’t in me. I don’t mean to say that I withheld my affection out of resentment. It wasn’t that at all. I saw that he was hurting, and I wanted to do more for him. But with him, I didn’t know how. Whenever I was around him, I was always aware of this deep well of sadness and pain that existed in me because of the things he had done to me when I was young and vulnerable. And because of that, something very basic and primal in me recoiled from him. This person had not nurtured me when I needed to be nurtured, but instead had belittled and berated me for not being the kind of boy he could relate to. It wasn’t the thinking part of my brain that recoiled. It was like my body remembered the abuse, and pulled me back form him in the same way you would instinctively pull back from fire or a cliff. I couldn’t get too close.

I cried more after my father died than I did after my mother died. I think that’s because despite my mother’s handicap, she was able to convince me that she loved me. I sometimes saw her eyes sparkle when she looked at me. It hurt to say goodbye to her. It saddened me knowing I would never see that sparkle again. But I had the memory of it. My father, on the other hand, never looked at me in the same way, and when he died, he took his adoration with him without ever bestowing it on me. I felt cheated by his death. If he couldn’t love and adore me when I was a little boy, he should have had the grace to let me know that this was his failing and not mine. Maybe that would have been enough.

We are not obligated to accept Christianity

I realize that there are some progressive Christian voices out there, but I’ve heard some claim that there are many and they’re just being ignored. I don’t believe it. A few academics, a few independent minded people and a couple of revolutionaries in the ranks don’t equal many in my book. Back in my college days, I studied several twentieth century theologians, intellectual giants they were, who tried to drag Christianity into the modern era. One of my professors at WVU had studied with one as a graduate student at Harvard, probably the most well-known, Paul Tillich. In his day, Dr. Tillich not only made an impression on his fellow academics, but he wrote popular books that landed on the best-seller lists back in the ‘50s. He was on the cover of Time Magazine at least once. And even though Dr. Tillich was good at getting peoples’ attention, he still failed to make a lasting impact on Christianity. He’s largely forgotten now.

His student, and my professor, Dr. Mietzen, once told me that when people start turning away from a religion, it is the religion that has failed. The people aren’t the ones who are to blame for not giving the religion a fair hearing. The religion is there to serve the people. When it stops reaching them, when it stops inspiring them, when it stops meeting their needs, it not only dies, it deserves to die. And that’s so a fresh, more inclusive, more powerful, more unifying mythology can rise up in its place.

Religions come and go, but humanity marches on. Human history is not dependent on Christianity in my view. Christianity is dependent on humanity. The ancient Egyptians had a religion. It lasted for three thousand years. Decade after decade, generation after generation, century after century, the people of ancient Egypt were devoted to it, believed in it, and ordered their lives around it. But times changed, and the religion failed to keep up, and the only interest in ancient Egyptian religion today stems from intellectual curiosity not devotion. No one believes in the ancient Egyptian gods anymore.

In my opinion, the only thing people owe Christians are common courtesy and respect. That’s it. If they want us to take their religion seriously, they have to earn it. And lately, they haven’t been earning it. European interest in Christianity has been steadily declining for decades. And now we see the same thing happening here in the U.S. Christians are still making a lot of noise, still having a significant impact on politics, but it’s the reactionaries who are out front, the ones who want to rewrite history and science to fit their outdated beliefs. And how do they expect to get the rest of us to go along with them? Through fear and intimidation. They warn us that if we don’t believe them, their god will punish us.

Bullshit! I do not believe that. And I think if that’s the best they can do, then we’re seeing Christianity’s last gasp. I think that if there is a god, or something more to life that escapes our ordinary sensory perceptions and our capacity for reason, then the truth of it is not dependent on the Christian religion or any single religious tradition. It’s time for the Christians to dazzle us with hope and inspiration rather than shake their fingers at us and call us sinners if we don’t mindlessly follow them. If they’re not up to it, we should just shove the dead carcass of our ancestors’ religious traditions out of the way and get on with it.

If you allow one, you have to allow the other?

Meet Me Down By The River

"This note may come as a shock to you, but I just can’t hold back any more. By saying what I have to say, I will give you the power to turn me into an outcast. You can tell everyone at school. You can tell my parents. I can’t stop you, and I know my life will be hell if you do reveal my secret. But I’m willing to risk it for you, for the slight chance that maybe you feel the same way about me as I feel about you. I hope you understand what I mean when I say I like you more than most guys like their buddies. You’re more than just a friend to me. And I would like to spend more time with you, just the two of us. Please meet me down by the river on Sunday afternoon. I’ll bring food and wine. All you have to do is show up. I’ll understand if you don’t come. I’ll be heartbroken, but I’ll understand. But I want you to come. Please come. You’ll make me so happy if you do."

Photographer and subject unknown
Fictional little story by Gary Cottle

Here's looking at you, kid.

We are in the midst of an adventure known as life. It’s an ambiguous journey. No one knows why we’re here, where we came from, what we’re supposed to do while we’re here, or where we’re going. It’s enough to make anyone grumpy, and paranoid, and more than a little crazy. But as we tumble through space not knowing if our experience has purpose or meaning, some of us manage to look across the expanse that separates us from our nearest neighbor and we feel a flicker of hope and a realization that we’re not alone in this. The corners of our mouths turn up into a smile and we come to believe that maybe it’s all worth it just for the chance to have a friend.

Who will stand up for us?

I use the terms "Christianist" or "homophobic Christianist" to refer to the Christian extremists who use their religion to support discrimination and bigotry.

But after last Wed. when thousands and thousands decided to line up and pay a billionaire the chance to flip LGBT the bird, I'm wondering if my criticism has been a little too narrow.

Not only did the Christianists come out, and their redneck bullies, but most Americans, most Christian Americans and most Christian denominations and organizations who didn't participate remained silent.

It was very scary. I'm left wondering who would actually stand up for people like me if the Christianists decided to come after us with pitchforks.

Billionaire Chistianist homophobe Dan Cathy is the victim? Bullshit!

Same-sex civil marriage is against the law in over 40 states in this country. The federal government doesn’t recognize the same-sex marriages in the states that do allow it. There are no laws in place to protect LGBT people against discrimination in employment and housing in much of the country. Stats show that LGBT people are targeted for hate crimes more often than any other minority group. LGBT youth are 4 times more likely to commit suicide than their straight counterparts. 40% of this country’s homeless youth are LGBT. Nearly every LGBT person can tell you stories about being rejected by family and friends, they can tell you about being discriminated against, being bullied, intimidated, being judged and condemned in the harshest ways imaginable. There are a huge number of organizations that work tirelessly to spread fear of and misinformation about LGBT people, some of which are financially supported by Chick-fil-A. These organizations also work to deny the civil rights of LGBT people both here in this country and around the world. Some want homosexuality to be a crime. But thousands and thousands of Christians marched off to Chick-fil-A yesterday to proclaim that LGBT people are the bullies, and they and billionaire homophobic Christianist Dan Cathy are the victims.