Fever

I was very sick in my 20s. I saw my therapist at least once a week, sometimes twice. I kept her phone number with me at all times. I even had her home phone number and her permission to call her in the middle of the night if necessary. (I never did.) I saw my psychiatrist at least once a month, sometimes twice. I had blood tests done at least once a month because I was taking so many medications at such high levels, my doctor had to constantly make sure he wasn't poisoning me.

Every time I saw my doctor, he would ask me about my libido. And that's because, to be quite frank, a young man who isn't horny is probably in trouble. That is a warning sign.

I believe that the fever is life. It is the thrust and force of life. It is life sustaining energy. It's not simply sex, or the desire for sex, but hope, a need to connect with people, a need to connect with the world, a need to stay alive and be a part of the mystery of life. I think to deny it is to deny life and our own existence.