Lisa Ling's "Pray the Gay Away?"...and my reaction.

Our America with Lisa Ling, "Pray the Gay Away?" - FULL EPISODE

http://www.oprah.com/own-our-america-lisa-ling/Our-America-with-Lisa-Ling-Pray-the-Gay-Away-FULL-EPISODE?FB=fb_ouramerica_031011

Lisa Ling Screws Up Big-Time On 'Ex-Gay' Segment
YouTube video from Truth Wins Out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jS2MmgeORY8

I think Truth Wins Out does have a point. I think Ling did go a little soft on Exodus. But anyone with any kind of objectivity on this issue could probably see that the two young men interviewed by Ling who were doing the "ex-gay" thing are not fooling anyone but themselves. They both saddened me because they were both obviously nice guys, and I hate to think of them going through life thinking that they are "broken" in some kind of special way that sets them apart from others, that they have to "struggle" with who they're attracted to.

I thought Michael Bussee's story about the man who cut his genitals with a razor blade and then poured Drano on the wounds because he felt so guilty for not being able to "pray the gay away" was simply devastating. I had to stop the video at that point and collect myself before I could continue.

One of the things that bothers me is the way many of the "ex-gay" people are constantly equating being gay with binge drinking, drug abuse, and extreme promiscuity. I never engaged in any of that, and I'm still gay. I don't look down on those who do, no matter if they're gay or straight. (And yes, there are plenty of straight people who party. So please stop pretending that's a gay thing.) A lot of young people -- both gay and straight -- party when they're young. Most of us -- both gay and straight -- start to appreciate the smaller things in life more as we get older. How many straight people have you heard talk about their wild and crazy youth? How many associate that with being straight? How many think they have to give up their attraction to the opposite sex in order to lead a more quiet life?

So there's a false dichotomy being presented. They claim you can be a gay Dionysian party boy, or you can have a calm "normal" life surrounded by nice, loving people if you "pray the gay away." But that's a lie. You don't have to be a party boy to be gay. And you can lead a quiet life surrounded by loving friends and family if you're gay. You do not have to stop being gay to have that.

The way it was suggested that everyone had to come to terms with what the Christian Bible had to say on this subject was a bit disturbing. I'm a southerner who was raised a fundamentalist Baptist, but I can tell you that I never fully internalized the programing. I never really even thought about "praying the gay away." I never really worried about being judged by God for being gay. When I was young, I was worried about rejection. I was worried about being abused if people found out. I was worried about hurting and disappointing my family. I loved my family, and they had a really hard time of it, and I didn't want to add to their suffering. But I never really believed that they knew the mind of God. They were literally crazy. They were so nuts, I sometime wondered how they had managed to survive so long.

Of course Christianity, and specifically my family's brand of Christianity, had an effect on me. But I arrived at college with a mind that was wide open. I studied religion and philosophy because I wanted to find answers that I felt I didn't have. For a long time, I even considered graduate school. But no matter how many ideas I read about, no matter how many philosophies and religions I familiarized myself with, I never got a sense that I had arrived at the final answer. So I gave up the intensive search.

I have certain ideas, but I don't like proclaiming my allegiance to any particular philosophy or religion. I'm much more comfortable now with the idea that I simply don't know much of anything for sure, and I want to maintain an open mind.

So it does bother me a little that we live in a society in which you ether choose some version of Christianity or you choose not to reflect on the big questions. I think that's a false dichotomy, too.

BTW,  I loved the camp for gay kids. Golly, how I wish I could have went to a camp like that when I was young. Would have been so much fun.