Homophobia and discrimination, what can we do about it?

Coming out is usually very helpful, both for the individual and for LGBTs as a group. Coming out allows people who have been fed a pack of lies about us to see for themselves that we are not the devils we are made out to be. But it’s not a good idea for everyone, especially for those who are still emotionally and financially dependent on unsupportive family members, and those who are still dealing with internalized homophobia or who are particularly vulnerable to the harsh judgment of others. I suspect that a lot of those who seek “ex-gay” therapy were outed before they were ready to defend themselves.

I think it’s also important to keep in mind that we’re not simply dealing with misconceptions that can easily be dispelled. We are under attack from a hate machine that is pumping out incendiary propaganda on a daily basis. Those who built the machine, and those who keep the machine going largely do not care about the truth, or reality or fact. They don’t care if they hurt us either. They have a larger political agenda, and we are merely pawns. A lot of people involved in keeping the hate machine going derive their livelihoods from the hate they spew. Many have their very identities wrapped up in what they’re doing to us. So who will they be and what will they do if they stop hating on us? If those are hard questions to answer, then it’s not likely they’re going to give up the fight anytime soon no matter if beloved family members and friends are in the way.

Ideological thinking is a powerful "drug." Many will simply ignore reality in order to continue to believe they have all the answers. Some people will kill for their ideology. History is full of examples of this. And many of those who are steeped in Christianist ideology will even throw away their own children before they look at the world from a different perspective. The alarming number of LGBT homeless youth is evidence of this.

It used to be that nearly every white family in the South with even a little money, they didn’t have to be rich, had a black maid. These black women often lived with the families they worked for. They cooked and cleaned and they were often the primary caregivers of the children in the house. They were often thought of as family. And of course these women were out, out, out. But still racist attitudes persisted. It took a lot more than whites knowing some black people they liked to change things.