Some of my thoughts concerning Before Midnight

I can’t believe that it’s been almost twenty years ago since I first saw Before Sunrise. I loved the idea of traveling through Europe, connecting with a stranger in a foreign city and spending the evening walking the streets and engaging in one long, circuitous conversation. I could imagine bursting with creative energy and sharing all of my half baked ideas about life, existence and love and listening to this other person do the same. It all seemed so romantic and wonderful, and it gave me hope that something like that might happen to me.

I liked the second film in the series, too–Before Sunset. It was great seeing the characters again after nine years, and it was nice to know that their one night together still meant something to them. It wasn’t merely one of those youthful experiences where both parties are so in love with being in love, they do a lot of projecting and avoiding and find out later that they were fooling themselves. Jesse and Celine really did bond that summer evening when they were in their mid-twenties.

Now, after another nine years, there’s another installment–Before Midnight. Jesse and Celine are in their 40s, they’ve been together for a number of years, and they’re the parents of two little girls. It was good to see that they’re both still healthy, vibrant and full of energy. But I thought there was too much dialogue. I can’t believe that a couple in their 40s who have been together for so long would chatter so much. At times, it came across as a little forced to me, and the characters seemed a bit pretentious. Throughout the film, tensions grew, and finally they began to argue. The things they said to one another… So hurtful and cruel. It was painful to watch. And as someone who suffers from PTSD and extreme social phobia, it reinforced my worst fears about getting involved with people. Relationships are so much work. The more you open up, the greater the chance you’ll say something that will be misunderstood, the greater the chance that you’ll reveal something that will be unacceptable to your friend or partner. The closer you are, the greater the chance you’ll find out things about your friend or partner that you won’t understand. I fear hurting people, I fear getting hurt, and it’s hard for me to keep my emotions in check, so this movie, in a way, was more scary than a horror story. Goodness, if I had to regularly go through all of that, I’d throw myself off a bridge. I couldn’t take it.

I hope Jesse and Celine are still together nine years from now, but you can tell if their relationship survives, it’s going to be complicated.