I’m not expecting these things, but I, too, have my desires. Some you can’t buy with money, but here are a few that come with a price tag.
Nearly everybody who knows me can guess that a cottage in the woods is at the top, but that’s not very practical. Even though I’d settle for something quite modest, buying and maintaining a cottage would take more money than I’ll probably ever have. There’s also the problem of transportation. I don’t drive. And not only would I need to get out for practical things like going to the store and doctor’s appointments, I know from experience that I would need to get away from time to time. So I would also need travel money. I love the woods of West Virginia, but one of the things I hated about living in that state was the feeling of being stuck. If I had the money to go to D.C. or New York a couple of times a year, it would have made all the difference.
Living in a rent subsidized apartment in Portland is one of my dreams, and that is perhaps achievable, but it’s going to take some time and effort.
I’m pleased that my books sell and make money. It’s wonderful to get those royalty payments. But self-publishing costs money. I’m not a computer nerd, so I have to pay others to format my manuscripts. Books also need cover art, and I have to pay for that, too. I have one book that is available as an ebook and as a paperback. Two others are only available as ebooks. I’d like to get those into paperback format, but it would cost money. And I’m working on a fourth book, and I have two others in mind. As I said, my books are making money, but they probably cost almost as much as they make. Writing books is a labor of love, not profit. I would love to be able to afford to hire professional editors, but they are wildly expensive.
My toaster oven died on Thanksgiving, so I need a new one. I love toaster ovens, and I use mine every day. I plan to buy one on the first. I need one that is fairly large because it’s a substitute for my full-sized gas oven. The gas oven is too hot, and it burns everything. It also sets off the smoke detectors. I hate it. So I use the toaster oven for everything from toasting sandwiches and heating leftovers to baking biscuits and small cakes. I’ll get one, but it’ll mean I’ll be poor next month.
I didn’t know anything about Merced or the Central Valley when I moved here. I had no idea how dry and desolate it is. I don’t like it at all. The reason I chose Merced is because it was affordable, I could get an apartment immediately, and it was close to San Francisco and Yosemite. I imagined that I could visit both regularly, but as it turns out, I can only afford to visit Yosemite once a year. Even that is quite expensive for me, so I’m always thinking about where I’m going to get the money for my next trip to Yosemite.
I really want and need an apartment sized washing machine. Every time I go to the Laundromat it is an ordeal. I hate the place. It’s loud. It’s dirty. It’s filled with kids running around. There are few places to sit while you wait for your clothes to wash and dry. Every time I go, I have to interact with people I would rather not talk to. Something always happens that I find gross. I always either find some stranger’s panties or socks mixed in with my stuff, or I see someone stuffing filthy, unwashed bedding and clothing into the dryers. By the time I get home, I’m literally sick. My head is pounding, and I’m so exhausted I have to go to bed. Not from the physical exertion but the stress. Anxiety takes a lot of energy. That’s why it’s linked with depression. You can get an apartment sized washing machine that connects to your kitchen sink for less than $300. That isn’t so very expensive, but it is to me.
As anyone who visits my wall here on Facebook knows, I love photography. For a long time, it was a mystery to me how photographers were able to create such beautiful images, so I began to study the process a little bit. Now I need some practical experience, but I need a DSLR camera. According to several online sources, the Nikon D3300 is a good entry level camera, and if you buy a kit with a couple of lenses that give you a focal length range from 18mm to 200mm, then that’s just wonderful. I saw an ad earlier that a kit like that for $500.
Most of these things are not outrageously expensive. It’s not like I’m asking for a first class trip to Paris. (I wouldn’t turn it down, but I know that’s really out of my reach.) And I suppose if I had a decent income, I could probably get everything on the list within a year…except for the cottage in the woods. But I don’t have a decent income. I only get by. And I’m thankful for that. I’m glad I have a bed to sleep in, a bathroom, food in the kitchen, a computer, my Kindle Fire, and all of you, my internet friends. So maybe I should just stick to asking for world peace for Christmas.
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