Rendezvous by Gary Cottle

In 1999, twenty-six-year-old Shane still lived in his parents’ house. He had done some renovations to the basement a couple of years after graduation and moved in down there, so he had some privacy. It was supposed to be a temporary arrangement. He got the job stocking shelves at the local Lowe’s store when he was still in high school, and he had been saving up. He wanted to leave his hometown in Tennessee and head to the west coast or New York or someplace where gay men lived openly. He had enough money by the time he was twenty-one, but he didn’t have the courage to make his dreams come true. By accident, he discovered he could occasionally trade blow jobs with men late at night at a nearby rest stop out on the highway. It wasn’t completely satisfying, but it was better than nothing. When he got a computer, he discovered gay chat rooms. It was mostly men talking dirty, and it was even less satisfying than the sex at the rest stop. But the connection to other men like himself, no matter how tenuous and shallow, kept him coming back. He dropped in every few days for nearly a year before he ran into someone who wanted to engage in a real conversation.

Shane learned that Russell was a small town boy, too, and although he didn’t live in his dad’s Nebraska farmhouse, he did stay in a camper setup behind the barn. Russell was completely closeted, just like Shane. Neither dated girls or made much of a show of being hetero. Everyone assumed they were loners. But they weren’t, not naturally. They both longed for companionship. Russell admitted that a few years before, he started sleeping with his childhood teddy bear again, but when the bear started coming apart, he placed him on a shelf in the camper near the bed so he could, at least, see him as he drifted off. When Shane read this admission, tears rolled down his cheeks because he understood the loneliness, and he promised Russell that one day, he’d get him the biggest teddy bear in the world.

Shane and Russell communicated online every day for months. Shane was sure he had fallen in love, but it seemed silly. He had never laid eyes on Russell. Never touched him. Never heard his voice. But all he could think about was Russell. Finally, Shane asked Russell if they could meet. Russell was reluctant at first. He said he was afraid it might ruin what they had together. Shane was sure it wouldn’t, and he kept telling Russell he needed to see him and hold him, kiss him and make love to him.

They each agreed to drive six hours and meet one another half way. There was a park that would be the perfect spot for them to come together in real space.

At the last minute, Russell asked, “How will I know it’s you when I see you?”

Shane said, “You’ll know. Trust me, you’ll know.”

Russell made it to the park later that day. He looked around in desperation for a few minutes. A part of him feared Shane wouldn’t show. But then he saw a dark-haired young man sitting on top of a picnic table. He wasn’t exactly by himself. He had a teddy bear with him. It was the biggest fucking teddy bear Russell had ever seen.