Who Is Michael?

I Am Michael is now streaming on Netflix, and I watched it last night. Like many, I found the film perplexing and frustrating. There wasn’t much insight provided as to why Michael Glatze would be drawn into Religious Right anti-LGBT beliefs. To me, Michael came off as disturbing and unhinged.

We learn that Michael’s father died suddenly of a heart condition when Michael was 13, and then his mother died a few years later when Michael was in college. Just before he abandons his friends and boyfriend and denounces LGBT recognition, identity and rights, he has a string of panic attacks, which he fears are symptoms of the same heart condition that killed his father. When he’s given a clean bill of health, he takes it as a sign.

So he had an existential crisis? That isn’t rare. Many have trouble facing their own mortality. Many wonder about meaning and purpose. Many find comfort in religion and spirituality. But why would Michael choose Christian fundamentalism? It doesn’t make much sense. It’s not like he wasn’t aware of other points of view. And his parents didn’t foist fundamentalist beliefs on him. His father was an agnostic, and although his mother identified as Christian, she wasn’t Religious Right Christian, and she hardly ever talked about her beliefs. She didn’t take Michael to church.

One thing I noticed was how Michael always wanted to be out front. He wanted to lead. He wanted followers. He wanted to be the preacher. He was always going to the extreme. When he went to San Francisco with his boyfriend, he immersed himself in fast lane urban LGBT life. He joined a magazine and became an activist. Then he wrote a guide for LGBT youth. Then he started his own LGBT magazine. After becoming a fundamentalist, he started writing inflammatory blog posts that drew a lot of media attention. When he went to Bible school, he started telling his fellow students they needed to listen to God and not the instructors. Many seemed to be listening to Michael. Finally, he became the pastor of his own church. I got the impression he was an attention whore who was basically empty inside. He was absorbed by a particular subculture. He studied it. He learned to mimic. Then he wanted to take over. I suspect he has some kind of personality disorder, maybe borderline. There doesn’t seem to be a center. No one is really home. And the attention seeking and the adopted zealotry might be his way of compensating.