Gay Christians attempted, foolishly in my opinion, to try to "build a bridge" to Alan Chambers, head of Exodus International

A couple of years ago I had a conversation with a friend, a Christian friend, a person who is active in his church. The conversation was about a natural disaster in some remote spot in the world, I think South America. I don’t remember the exact nature of the disaster or where it took place. What I remember was that my friend had been in contact via the internet with someone from this place who also happened to belong to his denomination. He talked about how coming into contact with this person had inspired him to speak to members of his church, urging them to send money or to help this person in whatever way they could. He repeatedly emphasized that this was a “brother in Christ” who was in need. Now I understand that we most readily relate to people who are most like ourselves. This is natural and understandable. However, I also think that it is something that could cloud our judgment, lead us to treat others who are not like ourselves unfairly. But in my life I have run into Christians who make it clear that they think fellow Christians are more important than those who are not Christian. It’s not that they just more readily relate to other Christians and naturally gravitate toward them, they elevate their needs above others, and they give themselves cover for doing this by claiming they and fellow Christians are the heroes of the world.

The same friend who was galvanized into action when he learned a “brother in Christ” was in need also said something else that has stuck with me, something that represents an attitude that I’ve noticed in other Christians. He told me that sometimes he walks down the street in his hometown, and he looks at the various people going into the shops, the bank, the post office, and he feels pride because he knows something they don’t, “the truth”--meaning his religious beliefs. And apparently he feels a great deal of satisfaction in sharing “the truth” with others. That attitude has always struck me as especially self-serving.

Of course we all can be self-centered and full of ourselves. And to expect Christians to be any better is unfair. They are, after all, only human. The trouble is, so many have used their faith as a way of blinding themselves of this all too human impulse within themselves. And many enable other Christians to do the same. “It’s alright for you not to pay any attention to what these people are saying. You have ‘the truth’ and they don’t.”

Of course not all Christians are so self-indulgent. For instance, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the 20^th century German theologian who became involved in the Nazi resistance movement in the 1930’s, said in regards to what was happening to the Jews in his country that one must do more than simply "bandage the victims under the wheel, but jam the spoke in the wheel itself." He and others plotted to assassinate Adolf Hitler. I expect as a Christian, Bonhoeffer did not dismiss the intrinsic worth of Hitler as a fellow human being, but given the situation, he felt it was important to stop Hitler by whatever means necessary in order to save the lives of those who were being killed by his regime. He did not entertain the idea that he could convince Hitler of the error of his ways. He did not try to “build a bridge” to Hitler. Sadly, Bonhoeffer was caught by the Nazis and executed. He gave his life in an attempt to save the Jews who were being killed in Germany, men, women and children who were not his “brothers and sisters in Christ” and would likely never be.

Of course Alan Chambers is not Hitler. And in the larger scheme of things, the situation we face may not be as dire as the one Jews faced in Nazi Germany. But Alan Chambers is harming people, seriously harming people. And it’s not at all a stretch to say he is helping to create and sustain a milieu that leads to the death of some LGBT people, including LGBT youth. And I don’t see too many Christians trying to jam the spoke of the homophobic wheel that Alan Chambers is a part of. I don’t expect anyone to attempt to assassinate Alan Chambers or any other homophobic Christianist, but I see few who are willing to stand up and say this is wrong, people are getting hurt, seriously hurt, and some are dying, no matter what you believe, no matter if you think of yourself as a Christian or not, you must stop harming these people. Even on the part of Christians who accept LGBT people as they are, I see way too much deference to fellow Christians.

As someone who isn’t religious, someone who doesn’t belong to a church, what I saw on that stage wasn’t a group of people who were primarily concerned with the harm that’s being done to others and coming up with a way of jamming the spoke of the wheel that’s causing that harm. What I saw was a kind of unseemly chumminess and an overriding need to maintain cohesion, an esprit de corps within “the club.” For instance, when John Smid spoke, he admitted that a turning point for him was going among gay Christians and discovering that many of them loved Jesus and felt it was important to tell others about the love of Jesus. That sent a chill down my spin. Is he saying that it would be okay to harm LGBT people if they didn’t share his religious beliefs? Did Dietrich Bonhoeffer wait until the Jews of Germany loved Jesus to attempt to jam the spoke of the wheel that was killing them? Did he wait for confirmation of this?

I personally think that love is love, compassion is compassion, concern is concern, empathy is empathy. I don’t think there’s a premium on love that’s defined as “Jesus love.” I think the love and compassion a person feels in a remote part of India, a person who may only have a dim understanding of what Christianity is, if any understanding at all, is just as legitimate as the love of a Christian.

I think the best way for us all to get along on this planet is for each of us to let others lead their own lives according to their own lights as much as possible. Of course I have my own way of thinking, my own way of looking at things, and of course I gravitate toward those who are likeminded. I have my favorites. But I try to remember that the thing that binds us is bigger than my personal beliefs and that I don’t have all the answers. I’m sure I fail at this, but I try to remember it.

I have no desire to convince someone like Alan Chambers that he should believe as I believe or live as I would have him live. Do I think he’s living a life of self-deception? Yes. Do I think he would be happier if he accepted his sexual orientation and lived as an openly gay man? Yes. But I recognize that Alan Chamber’s life belongs to him. He can do with it as he pleases. I only wish he would afford me and other LGBT people the same respect. It is that wheel that he’s a part of, that wheel that would crush the spirit if not the lives of other LGBT people that I want to see jammed. I don’t want to interfere with Alan Chamber’s personal life or personal beliefs. I don’t need to belong to his club. Frankly, I don’t want to be in his club. Is Alan Chambers a victim of the very Christianist homophobic wheel that he’s become a significant part of? I think so. But I think it would have been far less likely that Alan Chambers would have succumbed to internalized homophobia if Christians in our society were more concerned with loving for the sake of loving rather than banning together and convincing one another that they can save the world by foisting their religious beliefs onto the rest of us.