How Many Dead Homos Will It Take?

Back in the summer, a gunman went into the Washington offices of the Family Research Council with the intention of taking out a few homophobes. Or at least that seems to have been his intention. We still don’t know much about Floyd Corkins, the man who stands accused of attempting to murder FRC employees, other than he only managed to injure a security guard before he was stopped. As to be expected, most of the prominent LGBT advocacy groups were quick to denounce the violence. Violence is abhorrent, and it’s usually senseless, and this particular act of violence seemed to serve no purpose. I heard very few people express any sympathy for Corkins, and perhaps this, too, was to be expected. It’s hard to have sympathy for someone when you don’t understand their motives, and, as I’ve said, we don’t know much about Corkins even now. But what I found puzzling was that so many were quick to claim that violence was never justified. Never.

Of course there are people who are simply not inclined to fight even when they’re under attack. I also know that human beings are inclined to posture and strut, present themselves as morally superior. It makes them feel good about themselves, and it possibly could further their social status. Nothing like having people think you’re the reincarnation of Gandhi, but when push comes to shove, just how peaceful would these peaceniks be?

In any event, I’m wondering if it’s really a smart move to go out of our way to claim that LGBT people are so peace loving that there is virtually nothing that would cause us to lash out at our attackers.

Friday, October 19^th was Spirit Day, the day when we’re asked to think about bullying, the victims of bullying, and how we might help alleviate the problem. Given the huge percentage of LGBT youth who experience bullying, given that LGBT youth are four times more likely to commit suicide than their straight counterparts due to relentless bullying, given the large numbers of LGBT youth who are homeless due to family rejection, should we really show them by our example that we will endure anything and never fight back? Are we really so desperate to have others believe that we’re among “the good guys”? Don’t bullied people, young and old, have a right to defend themselves?

I realize that many of the young people who are bullied have a passive nature, and in many instances, this is why they’re targeted. I was one of those passive kids, and I was a victim of bullying. It got me in two ways: I never felt safe, and I felt unworthy because I was taught that “real” boys could take care of themselves. So I would never add insult to injury by reinforcing that stereotype about boys always being tough and never needing anyone to defend them. But shouldn’t we encourage bullied victims to fight back if they can? Shouldn’t we commend the stronger ones when they stand up for the victims of bullying?

I wonder if some of our passivity steams from a belief that we’re not really worth fighting for. Have we been so demoralized that we’re slow to raise our fists even when our physical safety is at stake?

I suspect that most have seen the film Thelma & Louise. Soon after its release more than twenty years ago it became a cultural touchstone. The story moved many, including me. Thelma was about to be raped in the parking lot of a nightclub, and Louise managed to prevent this from happening by pulling a gun on the would-be rapist. Louise had the upper hand at that point, but when the would-be rapist expressed his contempt for the two of them, Louise instinctively killed him. Many, if not most, who watched the film sympathized with Louise. We all know there are men out there like Thelma’s would-be rapist. They think they can take what they want from women, and our society often allows them to get away with it. And you can’t reason with them. They just don’t care. They might change their attitude at some point in the future, but how many women will they harm in the interim?

Human history is replete with unimaginable violence, war and bloodshed. Most of it is deplorable. But there are a number of people who we celebrate as heroes because they lashed out with violence. George Washington, the father of our nation, was a killer. We celebrate the men who fought to preserve the union during our Civil War. We celebrate those who fought against the Nazis, the Fascists and the Japanese during World War II. We celebrate veterans on Memorial Day and Veterans Day. We cheered when Osama bin Laden was killed. President Obama even proudly claims the killing of bin Laden is one of his administration’s most important achievements.

A lot of violence has been directed toward LGBT people. Most of us have been intimidated and threatened. A lot of us have been physically and sexually assaulted. Some have been killed. But a lot of the violence is indirect. In the past it was common to “sanitize” an LGBT person’s biography--burn letters and journals, deny relationships with significant others of the same sex, create fictional straight relationships. There has been a long and sustained effort to erase evidence of our presence for hundreds of years, and the result has been that most members of our tribe in the past lived in isolation, fearing someone would find out their secret.

But the truth is now out in the open. We know that a significant portion of the population is LGBT. We know that homosexuality is not a disorder. We know that prejudice and discrimination harms LGBT people. We know, and yet there are those who simply don’t care. They persist in warning others that LGBT people are to be feared and treated with hostility, and they often do these things in the name of their god.

There are those who insist that everyone is born heterosexual and that everything else is the result of some kind of trauma, manipulation or willful abandonment of supposed natural desires. They ignore the science, and they ignore the testimony of LGBT people regarding our own experience. They claim that the science has been corrupted by “activists” as part of their evil “agenda.” And they present their fantasy version of homosexuality to the world as if it was real, and if it was approved by their god. They are attempting to convince as many people as they can that LGBT isn’t real, that it’s a hoax, and that all of those who identify as LGBT are either deluded or lying. Why? Because you don’t have to be concerned with those who don’t exist. You can’t be accused of harming those who don’t exist. It’s a subtle attempt at annihilation. And when they foist their “ex-gay” therapy on vulnerable members of our tribe, they are basically attempting to convince them to annihilate themselves.

We know that homophobic bullying is real and pervasive in our schools. Most of us remember seeing it when we were young. Many of us were subjected to it. And we know that even straight kids are often subjected to homophobic bullying. We know that many kids live in fear every time they go to school. And yet there are those who would deny this reality, and they claim any attempt to address the problem is an attack on their beliefs. They claim that if kids are taught that it’s okay to be LGBT, more will “try” it and fall into the “lifestyle.” This idea has no basis in reality. It is a complete fantasy that harms real kids, but these people are allowed to influence school policy anyway.

Part of their fantasy is that LGBT people pose a special threat to children. It doesn’t matter that the statistics and science indicate that LGBT people are no more likely to assault children than anyone else. They go right ahead and make their claims anyway. They often say that we target children in order to increase our numbers. Those who aren’t willing to go that far often link homosexuality with pedophilia in the minds of as many people as possible by bringing the topic of pedophilia up in relation to homosexuality at every turn no matter if it’s relevant or not. They warn that if our society accepts homosexuality, it would also, by some strange logic that only makes sense to them, would have to accept pedophilia. And they say that marriage equality will lead to adults marrying children.

Even though AIDS is a disease that is transmitted in specific ways and most in the world who have it are straight, many suggest that AIDS is a byproduct of “accepting the gay identity.” They claim that every kind of psychological disorder an LGBT person suffers from is caused by “accepting the gay identity.” They blame the early deaths of LGBT people on their “acceptance of the gay identity” and “participation in the gay lifestyle.”

There are those who do everything they can to convince as many as possible that LGBT people are scary, evil, disease carrying parasites who want to harm children, and they claim we can stop being LGBT if we wanted to. They do everything in their power to thwart our efforts to gain acceptance and our civil rights.

These people are not merely confused. The know the truth. It’s been explained to them. But their fantasies are more important to them than the truth, even if those fantasies harm others. And the idea that these people simply represent a fringe element of society, a mere vestigial hiccup that will fade away in time is Pollyannaish in my view. They influence society at all levels. They influence politics at all levels. They do real harm to real people, including LGBT youth. And their destruction is often overlooked and ignored. Christians rarely condemn them. The media can’t be counted on to bother to look up the facts and correct the misinformation they spew. And our straight allies often have bigger fish to fry.

So how much are we willing to take? When is it okay to fight back? When is it our duty to fight for those who can’t fight for themselves?