1. I can sleep in on Sunday mornings.
2. I can watch porn with abandon and not feel guilty. Hey, it’s like the nature channel with people…and costumes…and frightening politically incorrect scenarios…and spectacularly bad acting.
3. If I had money, I could use it to actually help the poor rather than give it to my church.
4. If I visit a foreign country, I don’t have to worry about telling anyone about Jesus.
5. I can laugh at the idea of people riding dinosaurs like ponies in the olden days.
6. If a liberal Christian friend asks me why I wasn’t in church, I can say I was busy masturbating, and I’m likely to get a thumbs up.
7. I don’t have to marry a woman so she can cook and clean for me.
8. If I meet a nice guy on Grindr, I don’t have to throw him back and repent. I can even ask him to marry me.
9. If someone says to me, “According to the Bible…”, I can say, “But not according to George Takei.”
10. I don’t have to worry about anyone going to hell because I don’t believe in hell.
No comments:
Post a Comment