A few thoughts on cause of homophobia.

I don’t see homophobia as an us v. them kind of thing. I think it’s a cultural problem. LGBT people can be homophobic. Sometimes very homophobic. I notice it all the time. And I know that I have a certain amount of residual homophobia in me. We were all raised with it. It’s in our programming.

I also don’t see LGBT rights as something that only benefits LGBT people. Straight people may not want to have sex or romantic relationships with members of the same sex, but homophobia is part of the that whole gender box thing that our culture is cursed with. When we’re born, our parents look us over, and suddenly there are all kinds of expectations placed on us based on what’s going on between our legs. Little boys are expected to be rough and tough. They’re expected to fight and to be strong. And they’re certainly not expected to like other boys in *that way*. Little girls are expected to be sweet, passive, concerned for others and pretty. The system my benefit straight boys in many ways, but we all actually pay a price because none of us fit into that system perfectly no matter our sexuality or how traditionally masculine the boys are or how traditionally feminine the girls are. I think we’re all being held back from our true selves, and we’re all being threatened. If you think straight men only receive the benefits from this cultural system and are never punished, I don’t think you’ve been paying attention. Our prisons are full of scary men who were once battered and abused little boys. Many successful and law abiding men were also abused, but they learned how to channel their aggressions in ways that lead to social status and material gain.

Of course, we have to call people out when they harm others, but if that’s all we do, I don’t think we’re going to get far. Rather than simply resting in our own self-righteousness and piously blaming others for all the things we don’t like about our society, I think we have to examine ourselves critically and look for the ways in which we are passing on our cultural problems.