Homophobes would have us believe that it’s selfish for us to define ourselves by our sexuality. They claim we dwell on it too much and that we’re obsessed with it. But it’s actually very common for straight people to define themselves according to their sexuality. It’s just that it’s so ordinary, so ubiquitous we often don’t recognize it for what it is in the same way we usually don’t think about the air we breathe. And it’s not just about what we do with our private parts. Homophobes love to reduce it all to the mechanics, but it’s so much more involved. Of course, that is an important element of our sexuality, but it’s also about who we’re attracted to on many levels, who we want to be with, who we identify with, the roles we feel comfortable with when we’re in a relationship, the need to love and be loved as well as the desire for physical intimacy.
Look at all the movies, books and songs that feature heterosexual romance. Listen to what people talk about and gossip about. Titanic, for example, was one of the most successful movies ever, and that’s because those who produced it were smart enough to make the romance between poor boy Jack and rich girl Rose the center of the story. It was tragic and heartbreaking when Jack died, but the fact that Jack and Rose found one another, fell for one another and were able to love one anther for a few days was beautiful and profound. That connection was still important to Rose 80 years later. Audiences ate that up. It didn’t matter that it was fictional. It didn’t matter that we weren’t directly involved or that the story was set so long ago. Millions related to Jack and Rose and adored them. That’s because sex, sexuality, romance and love are important to straight people, and those things are important to LGBT people, as well.
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