Longing For Young Tobey

I first saw the film The World According To Garp in the early ‘80s when I was in high school. It was on HBO, and I watched it over and over again. It made a huge impression on me. In the late ’90s, I finally got around to reading the novel. I read several other books by John Irving after that, including The Cider House Rules. So I was excited when film version came out.

I don’t normally go to the theater. I usually wait for movies to come out on DVD—or VHS tape back in the day—but in the spring of 2000, I had my father drive me to the nearby town of Beckley, West Virginia, so I could see The Cider House Rules on the big screen. I loved the movie, except the story felt rushed as compared to the novel. When I walked out of the theater, I can remember even now feeling a little cheated because it seemed the middle part of the story had been edited out. But I understand that movies are not mini series, and I really did enjoy the film a great deal.

I especially liked Tobey Maguire as Homer Wells. He was so boyishly cute and sweet, and he seemed so befuddled and mystified by the world. His eyes always seemed to be filled with wonder, surprise and curiosity tinged with uncertainty and timidity. I fell in love with Tobey while watching this movie. I was 34, so I was still fairly young myself, but I knew my youth would soon be gone. I could feel middle age creeping up. I had already had my head surgeries. I had already been hospitalized for depression several times. I had already undergone electroshock. And I had basically given up and moved back home with my parents. Most of the time, I felt much older than 34, but there was still a spark of youth and hope inside me, and I felt it while watching Tobey’s young, pretty face and listening to his squeaky voice. How I longed for Tobey or someone like Tobey to come into my life.

I watched The Cider House Rules again earlier, and I have to admit that I still love Tobey in this film. Fifteen years has passed, but watching young Tobey as Homer still fills me with longing. This screenshot shows Homer admiring Candy who is stretched out naked on his cot in the bunkhouse. Homer tells her that she is so beautiful to him that it hurts. I know just what he means.