Liam's Hero

This is an old photo of Liam and Jacob. It was probably taken more than twenty years ago, back when men like them had hope for the future. It seemed like it was only a matter of time before they could get married and live openly without fear. But the economic collapse, followed by an energy crisis and a steady increase in the frequency of extreme weather caused the American people to become desperate. They began voting for leaders who projected images of strength and certainty, and over the years rights that once were taken for granted crumbled and died.

It was in the early days of the transition that the people lost the right to have consensual sex, and it wasn’t long before homosexual relations were once again illegal in every state. Anyone who wasn’t heterosexual was treated like a diseased criminal.

Liam and Jacob moved to a new city. They had to get away from anyone who knew they were a couple. However, they continued to live as roommates. Since many couldn’t afford to raise a family or buy a home, it seemed reasonable that two adult men would live together in order to share expenses. Liam and Jacob were thankful that they could stay together at least.

But then one day, Liam was arrested while at work. One of his coworkers had been caught soliciting another man in a restroom, and in an attempt to secure leniency, he ratted out fellow gay men. It just so happened that this coworker and Liam had a brief encounter before Liam met Jacob. Liam did not remember the coworker, and the coworker never revealed to him that they had met before, but the scared man did give the authorities Liam’s name.

Jacob was also questioned, but he pretended he had no idea that his roommate was interested in men, so Jacob was not sent to one of the camps. About a year later, Jacob heard that Liam had died.

Jacob sank into despair. He considered taking his own life. He missed Liam, and he felt guilty because he lied about the nature of their relationship when Liam was arrested. He felt like he had betrayed Liam.

One day he went to the park, and he succumbed to the temptation to go into the men’s room with the intention of finding a man who wanted to have sex. Jacob knew the dangers, and in part that’s why he did it. He secretly wished to get caught and dragged off to one of the camps.

But Jacob wasn’t caught. Instead he met a man who was part of the growing resistance movement. The man asked Jacob to join him. After some consideration, Jacob agreed to become part of the resistance. It would give him something to live for.

It turns out that Liam was still alive, and he was unexpectedly allowed to return home. He had been blinded while being tortured, and a bureaucrat took pity on him and signed his release papers even though technically he wasn’t eligible for parole. The man who volunteered to lead Liam back to the apartment was actually part of the resistance, and he informed Liam that Jacob was scheduled to leave the very next day.

Jacob was shocked to discover Liam in the apartment when he got off work. Liam explained to him what happened, and they made love for the first time in five years. Jacob decided he couldn’t leave Liam, so he never told him anything about the resistance. Jacob went to bed that night thinking he was going to spend the rest of his life with Liam.

But the next morning, Liam informed Jacob that he was going to live with a beloved aunt who would gladly support him and look after him. Jacob objected, but Liam informed him that he had important work to do. He reminded Jacob that most in the country had forgotten what it was like to be free. And he asked Jacob to think of the kids out there like them, kids who were growing up without hope, kids who were afraid others would find out the truth about them.

“You have to do it for them, Jacob,” said Liam. “We were together for over twenty years, and by some miracle, we were given one more night together. So let’s not be selfish. You know it would only be a matter of time before the police came for us. And it would be for the both of us this time, not just me. We may have been able to pretend that we were roommates back when I could see and earn an income, but now I’m a convicted pervert, and they’re going to know the only reason another man would take care of me is because he’s a pervert, too. So go, Jacob. Try to regain some of what we lost. And if our lives together can’t be salvaged, try to give the young ones a chance at happiness. You have been my love since the moment I laid eyes on you, but if you do this, you’ll be my hero, too.”

Jacob sat there in silence for a long moment. He somehow managed to let go of the dream of growing old with Liam for the second time. Finally he kissed Liam, passionately at first, and then more gently. Then he left his blind lover sitting there on the edge of their bed and marched off to war.

Photographer and subjects unknown
Fictional story by Gary Cottle