Like other documentaries and TV segments, this film goes into detail about Matt’s murder, the trial, the funeral, and the massive unexpected press coverage. It is devastating as it always is. What this film does that others have not is give us a clearer picture of what Matt was like as a teenager and a young adult. Josue interviews several of Matt’s friends, and the conversations are intimate and personal because it appears that Josue knows most of the people she interviews. She also interviews Matt’s parents, and they allowed her to use many family photos and videos that have not been shared with the public before. Josue and another friend even read from Matt’s diary. And we’re introduced to a beloved stuffed rabbit that Matt carried around with him as a small boy. Matt’s father tried to find the rabbit when Matt was in the hospital so he could put it beside him, but Mr. Shepard couldn’t locate it. He says he now believes he wasn’t meant to find the rabbit that night because, at that point, he needed it more than Matt did. The rabbit reminds his father of happier times.
It’s heartbreaking to hear the people in Matt’s life play the “what if” game. Judy Shepard wonders what would have happened if Matt’s father had not taken that job in Saudi Arabia. Apparently the school in Switzerland encouraged students to travel in Europe, but just before graduation, Matt and his friends decided they wanted to go to Morocco. As most know, he was brutally gang raped one night when he went exploring on his own. Everyone—his friends, his family, teachers from school—agree that this event changed Matt. Judy Shepard says that she saw a difference immediately after the attack. She says that Matt had gone from being a friendly, naïve, open young man willing to talk to anyone to someone who carried himself like a victim. She said he walked with his head down and wouldn’t look people in the eye. In her book, Judy Shepard revealed that the summer before he started college in Wyoming three years later, he was still having flashbacks that were so vivid, he couldn’t distinguish them from reality. He went so far as to insist he had been raped again when he had not. Matt went to college in the fall after high school as planned, but he quickly dropped out and drifted for several years. His return to Wyoming was his attempt to start fresh in a place that seemed familiar and safe. Of course, his old high school friends now wonder what would have happened if they had decided to go someplace that was safer for American middle-class teenagers. It’s natural for them to wonder about that. No doubt, Matt’s life would have been different. He probably wouldn’t have been raped, and he probably wouldn’t have gone back to Wyoming three years later. Matt’s high school guidance counselor from Casper advised Matt to return to Wyoming. Apparently, this man was the first person Matt came out to as a teenager. He could tell, as I’m sure many with even a half-way functioning gaydar could, and he encouraged Matt to talk about it. The counselor was gay himself, so he understood what Matt was going through. It seems this man regrets advising Matt to return to Wyoming. But as the two violent attacks on Matt indicates, you can be a victim anywhere. Marrakesh might have been a scary place for a small teenage American white boy in the mid-’90s (Matt was 5’1” and weighed 101 pounds), but Laramie was supposedly the type of place where people didn’t bother locking their doors at night.
Matthew Shepard would have turned 39 earlier this month. This film was made a couple of years ago, and his friends still have a youthful appearance.
This documentary is now streaming on Netflix.
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