I’m not a very social person. I don’t like excessive amounts of alcohol. I’ve never taken illicit drugs except for poppers a few times. It was like smelling a cleaning solvent, so I don’t what all the fuss is about. I don’t think my dancing experience was enhanced by making me think of cleaning the kitchen sink. I have taken my share of controlled substances, but they were prescribed by a doctor. They serve their purpose, but I don’t think of myself as partying when I take them.
But I grew up in an environment where not only was homosexuality denounced, but sex and nudity and pleasure in general were viewed as suspect. We were all very careful to keep ourselves covered up, and no one hardly ever mentioned sex. And when it was mentioned, it was never celebrated. According to my father, only crazy and dangerous people indulged in alcohol and drugs. He was convinced that someone who merely smoked a joint was likely to kill you with an ax without provocation.
After having all that drilled into my head, I became rather fascinated with the Dionysian spirit. There’s a part of me that just wants to let go of all the fear and restraint, and I look on with wide-eyed wonder when I see others letting go of their inhibitions--naked bike rides, Burning Man, Mardi Gras, Pride…
A friend of mine once jokingly accused me of being a mattress back. When I objected, she corrected herself. She said I was a mattress back wannabe.
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